Destiny

Long time no write in my blog ;D

Today exactly March 15th, 2017 and now, I am 26 years old, 1 month and 11 days. Now, I am not "gadis galau" anymore, ya galau karena cowok, kuliah ataupun pekerjaan. I am a wife now, pricesely on December 10th, 2016. I have a husband who always caring and loving me in good and bad times. A man who always teach me about life, kindness and religion which brings me become a good man. Alhamdulillah....

Flashback,

So, I meet my husband in 2014 as a friend in our college. Time flies, I don't know him, I only know his name because he was the one who was admired by my friend. Next year, it turns out he was trying to attract my attention. It was not escape from my friend's support who are always there to comfort me when bad and good times. Yap, exaclty 3 months before he left me to go to Netherlands continue his master degree. His name is Halim, bukan anak yang hobi bergaul, jalan2, makan2 ataupun karokean yang sering banget aku lakuin bareng temen-temen. He is quiet person, I only meet him, in class, lab or mosque, yah mungkin kurang lebih dia cuma kesana aja waktu dikampus, buktinya udah hampir 6 tahun dia gapernah tau tempat makan atau nogkrong enak disana. Then, I adore with him, karena emang suka sama cowok kalo pinter apalagi lebih pinter the reason is kalo diajak ngobrol enak, nyambung, but don't talk with him about brand, cafe, ataupun sejenis tempat2 ala2 anak gaul, ga akan ngerti dia haha. He is the person who always believed and always surrender to Him apalagi urusan jodoh. Kalo kata temen-temen "doanya kenceng ni anak". He doesn't ever be afraid to hurt even though at that time I became convinced he and compassion not behave as usual well although GR" dikitlah. First year, after continue his master degree, he return back to attend my graduation after the ceremony, he immediately proposed me, ya seneng banget waktu itu based on my dreams "semoga abis wisuda ada yang ngelamar". Singkat cerita, we live quite LDR more than one year. After he graduate on September, then he come back, directly we got engaged on October and got married on December. Cepet juga ya kalo dipikir-pikir. 

Yess...that's the secret of God that I had never thought before, that I never thought when I first saw him in class, when we first gathered dinner together with friends, when us do jogging in Sabuga. Never have thought and it never occurred. The mystery of God, which made me finally choose ITB for further study, and then meet him in the second year, in which time he was already willing to go to the Netherlands, that means he's studying at ITB can only to meet me "ini mah GR banget si". God is never wrong to make plans, God is always right unite, God always gives the best at that time that we had never thought as a human. That's the short story of the journey to continue master degree, lessons brings me to meet with my soulmate.

One month married, exactly the second week of January, we get sustenance, sustenance never unexpected, yes I am definitely pregnant, bahagia yang luar biasa waktu itu. Always give thanks to God's plans were given to me and my husband, the day continues to run, households live life happily without lacking anything, have family that has always loved us. Life is so beautiful, although had occurred once, twice a debate which takes 30 minutes yah namanya juga pengantin baru.

Three months has passed, through married life, to be a wife and expectant mother. On March 8, we both went to the Obstetricians, after being checked by ultrasound of the fetus can not be seen but when it has entered the age of 11 weeks 5 days gestation, finally I checked with transvaginal ultrasound, yes it hurt to use the tool to check, after the fetus look, but what happens, it turns out the doctor says the fetus in my womb does not develop, because at the age of 11 weeks 5 days but he was an 8-week and there was no heartbeat. Really hurt, at that time we both looked at each other can only hold back the tears in front of the doctor. Doctors do not know what the exact causes, but I knew that day, that night its hurt, pain over the loss of something anticipated, sick because it never occurred to no incident of this kind, it hurts because it can not willingly accept the reality. In the next morning we decided to look for another doctor for a second opinion, after seeing the doctor later, was indeed the fetus can not help anymore and must be removed because otherwise it would be dangerous to myself. Cries did not stop until the evening on the day that the fetus must be removed by means of vacuum. Vacuum is a tool to remove the fetus as kurtase. Once the action is completed, I still could not stop crying, I still could not accept the fact that I was not pregnant anymore.

A week after the incident I did not work for the restoration of the events experienced. My husband every day is always an encouragement, always giving me love and affection relentless. 

Yes it acts of God, never occurred and unexpectedly, just like a mate. God's plan is much more beautiful, God's plan is always right and the sustenance that God's love will never be confused. Thanks for my husband who is always there, always assured me with all the destiny that we experience, which is always struggling, always trying to keep smiling, always give love endlessly. Lucky me to have you by my side.